“There is never anything newsworthy about your life but that all can be changed! Are you spending your life running errands for people? That all can be changed also!” read my mind mate. Theodore Figuero mailing me about 100% guaranteed degree. Sounds like a jolly decent chap eh? I reckon he can sort me out.
“We wish to notify you again that you were listed as a beneficiary to the total sum of? 8, 300,000.00 GBP (Eight Million Three Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds Sterling) in the intent of the deceased (name now withheld since this is our second letter to you)” Jesus mate, I’ve been on a plane. You got my last email with all my bank details didn’t you? No? OK, I’ll send them again.
“I want to present you as unpaid contractor during my tenure; I will make all legal documents be on your name. money will not be needed for anything in this business, most importantly, how can we trust you when the funds get to your custody” Don’t worry mate, you can trust me.
“Date 03/03/2011. Hello, my name is Brown Cheng from Hong Kong I have a business that I want to offer you.This projects worth 22.5Million Dollars and you will have a 50% share from the total amount.” I wonder if me including these in these notes means I’m starting to get more? Either way suits me… I’m gonna be a rich man soon!
“I love hitler” I know what designer I’m wearing this Spring Mr Galliano.
Letters from this side of the pond…
So this week’s been a rather liberating week of unsubscribing myself from every list possible. I know that’s rich coming from me… but I really don’t need 15 emails from amazon a day… neither do I need to know what’s going on with Howard Donald and his DJ bookings… tho I do plan on catching him in Wolverhampton next week for old time’s sake.
Sweet lord jesus my back hurts… carrying all my ridiculously cheap, battered and amazing dusty classics from NY back almost killed me… just call me the hip house, freestyle, electro king mate! Is it impossible to buy a bad 2nd hand record in NY? I guess it is when you have A1 records and ‘thrift’ shops full of all of the above… praise the lord for the man who didn’t check my hand luggage! x I had no idea Debbie D had made more than one good record either… I do now.
Righty-ho then… back into all then. Gadafi’s making in-roads to take the power back and stem the tide of the wave of revolution… see how that one pans out. Camers isn’t going to use frozen assets to compensate IRA victims.Good lad. I’m also glad I never put an offer in on this Hampstead flat I’d had my eye on for a while.
So, how about Stop Rupert Murdoch – tis gathering momentum but I very much doubt owt’ll happen… aren’t they OKing the whole thing today anyway… go on Rupey… rule our waves of air. I need more Friends in my life… don’t get enough on E4 already. In fact on a little boat trip round Manhatten on the weekend I discovered that Friends is actually filmed in LA…. I feel betrayed… there was me thinking I’d come across Central Perk while I was there.
The highest comedy show in the world… uh yeah mate nice. ‘No, no it’s all for charity tho…’ I hear you cry… yeah nice, let’s take an aeroplane up for no reason, spunk loads of fuel and god knows what… all in the name of charity… cool, I’m going to take a spaceship to Mars and see how many bottom burps I can do on the way there. Anyone sponsor me?
Ah Mr Shepherd you save me again from my search for witty and interesting linkage and run straight past me in the quality you offer:
Thank you sir… I’m so pleased HK hasn’t beaten the lefted-ness out of you!
Abandoned places… amazing modern ruins. But where exactly is Gary, Indiana? I must go there… what a name.
R2D2 stands for “Reel Two, Dialogue Two” — Film Cutter’s lingo. – back at the Random Facts generator again.
How to use an elevator (that’s lift to you and I) without stopping. I’m off to see if this actually works…
Oi and Ms Ryle… I’ll get to that article this weekend… I promise like.
Right that’s it… we’re through.
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